Maybe you are…but then again, maybe you're not. Maybe you've just been called that, because you have a…
FEAR OF COMMITMENT
Fear of commitment can look fuckboy-like from the outside. It shows up in behaviors like keeping things casual on purpose, not communicating well, lovebombing hard at first and then pulling away, or ghosting the second things start to feel real. Actions we're not exactly proud of in hindsight.
But here's the thing: fear of commitment is exactly that — a very real fear.
Fear of intimacy. Fear of being vulnerable. Fear of getting hurt ourselves. Fear of losing our independence, or feeling trapped.
And what most people don't realize is that the commitment-phobe often craves connection and love just as much as anyone else. They just don't know how to actually do it — how to stay present once things get close instead of finding a reason to leave.
So a lot of us do want a partner, maybe even a family, and yet we feel resigned to this just being "the way we are." That resignation is defeating on its own. Left unchecked, it can turn into something worse — not just disappointment in your relationships, but genuine self-loathing about who you seem to keep being, over and over.
If this sounds like you: don't worry, there's hope. Commitment issues can absolutely be worked through — with real effort, and with the help of a solid therapist. And I would know…
I Used to Be One
As a former commitment-phobe myself, and I specialize in working with men on exactly this — relationships, attachment, and the patterns that keep repeating until someone actually looks at them.
If any of this landed a little too close to home, reach out for a free 20-minute consult.
Be a fuckboy no more!
